Staying Together Is a Choice

Love suffers long and is kind…

[love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4, 7-8

Today I know a couple who is going through a rough time in their marriage. I won’t name them or give away any clues as to who they are, but this post is for them.

Over the last few months, I have come to know about a very wise and influential couple. Neither one of them have ever met me. They do not know my name or have any clue that I know theirs. However, God has been using them in a great and mighty way in my life. Here is what their daughter recently had to say about their marriage of nearly forty years:

My parents would NEVER want me to say they had the perfect marriage. No one does. It’s how they handled the bad WHEN it came. And believe me, it came to our house on more than one occasion.

It was the CHOOSING love and grace when anger and walking away was more logical. In our society today, we hear the question “why get married?” For my parents, it was a commitment they made that enabled them to stay together even when times were tough. And 40 years later, we can look back and learn from this strong commitment.

I am thankful I was able to learn so much from them. They demonstrated love in the most beautiful ways. In the most quiet ways. At the end of my Mother’s life, I have never seen such love between 2 people, and it had nothing to do with flowers, cards, or dates. It was the “being there” when nothing was left but the bad. It was one taking care of the other in the most humbling of ways. It was one depending on the other with as much faith as she had. They are love personified, and it is a privilege to say I have been there to witness it.*

I may not be married myself, but I have been around the block enough to know that staying together is a choice. It is a mindset. “It [is] choosing love and grace when anger and walking away [is] more logical.”

The couple who makes staying together their only option will stay together until death separates them for only a little while. That is not to say that they will never have problems. They will have problems. As my friend has said, it is how we handle the bad when it comes. Our problems may be too big for us to fix on our own, but God is still in the restoration business. It has always been His goal to restore relationships; not tear them apart or throw them away. If we will take our problems to Him, He has promised to fix them. But we have to listen. We have to trust. We must obey Him.

Maybe you’re here today and you are walking through the valley of the shadow of divorce. Maybe your face is so close to the wall that you don’t know what color it is. If that’s the case, I can’t help you. I’ve not been there. I don’t have that kind of experience. But Jesus knows what you’re going through. He knows you better than you know yourself. And He is calling to you, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Don’t run away. Don’t part. Rather, cling to the one whom you vowed to love, honor, and cherish till death do you part, and cling also to Jesus for He is the only one who has the power to sustain you and save your marriage.

If you don’t know Jesus, you don’t know the hope that I have spoken of today. However, there is a way for you to know that hope today. Two thousand years ago Jesus died on an old, rugged cross for your sins and for mine. Three days later He rose from the dead, defeating Hell and the grave. It was that same restoration power that He wants to use to restore and heal your broken home. Will you trust Him today? If you will simply turn from all sin and trust in Jesus alone to save you, He will save you today and keep you saved forever.

*Quote taken from “Things I Learned About Marriage From My Parents.”

Jesus, the Door

I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved,

and shall go in and out, and find pasture.

John 10:9

A door can mean many things. Doors serve as entrances. Doors serve as exits. But more importantly doors serve as protectors. In the summer doors keep out the heat. In the winter doors keep out the cold. During storms doors keep out the wind and the rain. Doors also keep out all those pesky critters—including the human variety—that would invade our homes in the event of their absence. I am convinced that when Jesus said, “I am the door,” He was thinking of all of the above and more. My friend, Jesus is the ultimate door—He is the door to life.

What a wonderful thought it is to think of Jesus as “the door.” And I can never think of Jesus as “the door” without thinking of the story of Joseph and Potiphar’s wife. When Joseph was tempted, he did not stick around to work things out. No. He literally ran for the door, leaving all else behind. And that is what we can do with Jesus. He is the door out of tribulation and into a beautiful haven of rest.

Today, you may be struggling, but Jesus is saying to you, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). No matter what you are facing in this life, I promise you that, if you will go to Him, He will shelter you.

Maybe you’re here today and you have never given your heart and your life fully over to Jesus Christ. If that is the case, you need the door of salvation. My friend, Jesus is that door. He promised that, “if any man enter in, he shall be saved.” So what are you waiting for? If you will simply turn from all sin and trust in Jesus Christ alone to save you, He will save you today and keep you saved forever.

Thought for Today

And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man,

made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: 

she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

Genesis 2:22-23

Don't ever use the term "traditional marriage." Marriage is marriage. It is more than a tradition. It is a sacred institution designed, defined, established, and founded by God Himself. He has defined marriage as a covenant union between one man and one woman, for life. No matter how hard man my try, what God has defined in the beginning, no man can redefine.

They Cannot Understand You

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing,

but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

1 Corinthians 1:18

I realize that I had promised to post about something else today, but I really felt the Lord leading me to write about this particular subject instead. Have you ever been so angry at sinners for doing what sinners do? I mean, have you ever been so enraged that you just wanted to confront that person and say, “You’re wrong!”? I have. However, God has taught me through His Word that confronting such a person in such a manner will not do me or the other person a bit of good.

The Bible says that “the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing” (1 Corinthians 1:18). To fully understand the meaning of that verse, we first must understand what the message of the cross really is. Jesus said in Luke 9:23, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” The cross was an instrument of death. It was meant for execution, for severe punishment and cruelty. Therefore, when Jesus tells us to take up our crosses, He is saying that we must be willing to die to ourselves—even being willing to lose our physical lives, if necessary. This world does not like to hear that. They love their sin, and they do not want to give it up.

I believe that it is possible for a person to fall so in love with his own sin that he will go to the very ends of the earth itself to justify it. Therefore we cannot reason with these people. The only way to get through to them is to break the stronghold that Satan has on their lives. And there is only one thing that can do that—the blood of Jesus.

We must show these people that they are sinners in need of Savior. We must warn them that their sin can only lead to death, but that Jesus can only lead to life eternal. We must invite them to repent of their every sin and trust in Christ alone to save them. And we must let them know that, if they will do that, He will save them and keep them saved forever.

It is only once a man has come to know Christ that he can truly understand and appreciate the Law of God. Before, he only saw God’s Word as a thick, dusty book designed to take all of the fun out of his life. However, after he has come to Christ in repentance and faith, he can say with Adrian Rogers and know it is true that “when God says, ‘Thou shall not,’ He is only saying ‘don’t hurt yourself;’ and when God says, ‘Thou shalt,” He is saying ‘help yourself to happiness.’”

Monday Night Thoughts

Train up a child in the way he should go:

and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

The one major thing that has been all over the news lately is the movie theater shooting that took place in Aurora, Colorado last Friday night. As we were watching the story on the news last night, my mother said to me, “Wouldn’t you hate to be his parents right now? Don’t you know everyone who sees them is going to think, ‘Oh, your son is the one who shot all of those innocent people’”? My response may shock you. I simply said, “Well, I think they should be held responsible.”

Why do I think that his parents should be held responsible for a crime that he has done? Proverbs 22:6 tells me that if parents will “train up a child in the way he should go…when he is old, he will not depart from it.” And because of that verse, I believe that one’s parenting skills can be judged quite fairly by the actions of his children.

Now I am going to say something that some may think unfair: it is easier to come to an accurate conclusion about one’s parenting skills based on a child’s poor and rebellious behavior than it is based on a child’s good and honest behavior. Just because a child walks uprightly does not mean that his parents do the same. However, whenever you come across a child whose heart is full of rebellion, you will almost always find that one or both of his parents failed to take to heart Proverbs 22:6.

While I am not married and I do not have any children of my own, I have seen enough people my age ruin their lives to know a thing or two about parenting. Several years ago, I began to look at the lives of people I know, and I began to put two and two together. The ones whose parents let them make their own choices about everything seemed to always get mixed up with the wrong crowd. However, the ones whose parents sheltered and protected them from all evil proved to be more than capable, mature adults when time came for them to leave their parents’ nests.

Tomorrow, I will share with you what I believe to be the number one key to fulfilling Proverbs 22:6; or, as Ray Comfort says, “bringing your child to Christ and keeping him there.”

If you do not know Jesus Christ as Lord of your life, I invite you to do so right now, before it is eternally too late for you. If you will repent of your sins and trust Christ alone to save you, He will save you today and keep you saved forever.

A True Southern Belle

A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a blog entitled If I Were My Mother, I'd Tell Myself... Every post is written in memory of this lady's mother, who she lost to cancer some months ago. It is truly an inspiring blog, and I highly recommend it. I especially liked yesterday's post: "Raise Yourself A Southern Belle." When you get the time, you really should check it out.

Is One Life Better Than the Other?

The other day someone said to me, “I am against abortion completely…unless the life of the mother is in significant danger.” How is it that people can call abortion murder in one scenario and then call it a lifesaving procedure in another? Do they think that, because the child has not yet been born, God values the life of the mother more than the life of the unborn child? Psalm 127:3 says, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” God loves children, even those who have not yet been born. It is not His will that even one be harmed for any reason.

Suppose a mother and her young child are walking alone in a back alley. All of a sudden, a masked man appears out of nowhere with a gun. The mother quickly grabs her child, sticks him in front her, and says, “Here, shoot him instead, but please let me live!” Even the most coldhearted criminal would not have the least bit of sympathy for a woman who would do something like that. Yet that is exactly what someone is advocating who says that abortion is permissible as long as the life of the mother is in significant danger. The fact that the child has not actually been born yet makes no difference. Who are we to say that one life is more important than the other?

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar
with baby Josie

Michelle Duggar was forty-three years old when she became pregnant with her nineteenth child. I’m sure there are many doctors who would have suggested to Michelle that she have an abortion due to her age and the fact that she has a history of preeclampsia. However, I am very thankful that Michelle did not listen to anyone who said such things. She went through with the pregnancy and now is the mother to a very precious baby girl named Josie, who is perfect in every way.

I suppose there are some who will say, “Well, what if both end up dying”? We cannot see the future. And even if we could, murder is still murder. We are to work as hard as we can to save both lives, and leave the rest up to God.

God is the only one with the power to give life and to take life. Jesus said, “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). If you are reading this today and you do not know Jesus as Lord of your life, you have not yet truly lived. Jesus also said, “Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God” (John 3:3). If you have not yet acknowledged Jesus Christ as Lord, I invite you to do so today. And I promise you on the authority of the Word of God that, if you will repent of your sin and trust Christ alone to save you, He will save you today and keep you saved forever.